Filtering by Tag: God

"and they sing it with heart - sometimes even more than you."

188491_1789738977028_7630455_n How nice would it be to travel the world singing and not having to worry about money. I guess worrying about money is a choice, but there's a lot of things attached to security. There's also that pressure that comes with not just worrying about yourself, but the well beings of those around you: family, friends, and even strangers who need a helping hand. How nice it would be to travel the world singing and do it as a living. Then I wouldn't have to worry about money, but know I can use it to support myself, my family, friends, and even strangers who need a helping hand.

More than being known, to be able to write songs and sing them on a stage to have people recite the songs back. The meaning of those words you've written applies to theirs no matter how skewed, and they sing it with heart - sometimes even more than you.

I close my eyes and I re-imagine the moments I've been on stage. I'm generally comfortable there. I feel like it's the only place I can have a conversation with everyone in the room and not feel anxiety. To be presented with the opportunity to get on stage and do my thing whether or not people stay to listen, that's up to them. It's up to me to entertain openly, honestly, vulnerably, and share. It's not just for them, it's for me as well. Performing is a cathartic release and I'm wired to reboot this way, but I'm feeling rusty and the fear that I'll stay this way forever gets deeper. So now it's time to really get down to business.

What are the necessary steps to take to pursue this forever?

I've always felt grateful for my serendipitous musical path, but what's going to keep me on it?

Lord, You've been so gracious to me with this gift and with it I've been able to travel far and wide. I realize now that my lack of faith is what's kept me from further pursuing a life filled with music. I pray You'll give me the discipline and passion for performance that is deeply rooted in You. If my intentions are true, there is no way I can fail.

The decision to love and no more than love.

You are selfish.You are wrong. You are not good.

You are offended.

Why are you offended?

Sit on that and think about it.

This is to challenge others as well as myself.

When was the last time you re-evaluated your life and your actions (or lack of actions) towards others?

One of the biggest things about marriage is that you learn so much about yourself as well as the other because you are constantly and consistently with someone who experiences your every fiber. The good, and the horrifically bad. Imagine them standing in front of you holding a mirror in front of you, and you to that person. They catch you at every angle - the good side and the bad side. You help each other see how the other person perceives you and the perspective in which they stand. Do you like what you see? I know it's easy to say you don't like what you see in the other person, but do you like what you see about yourself?

God has always spoken to me throughout my life. He's orchestrated things so beautifully to point back to Him, but the concept of Jesus dying on the cross for me to give me another chance is still a lot to take in. Our sins are repetitive and it is impossible to be perfect, but still Jesus' blood cleanses that every. single. time. 

I feel wronged by people sometimes; people I consider(ed) close friends or family. I get hurt by them. I get overly neurotic and sensitive and I try to over compensate & replay scenarios in my head. I try and devise a way to feel "complete" again by having the balance of our friendship back to where I think it should be. When the heart of the matter isn't reciprocated, I crumble - usually.

But I have decided that I will just love the best I can and do no more than love. I will practice patience, kindness, not to be envious, not to be boastful, not to be proud, not to be dishonorable, not to be self-seeking, not to be easily angered, KEEP NO RECORD OF WRONGS (that's a toughie.. friends know I tend to never forget ;) ).. always protect, trust, hope, persevere...  Meaning: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 does not just apply to your spouse. IT IS THE LOVE that God intends for everyone.

Verse 8 has to be my favorite: "Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

We will fail miserably in this world, but we might as well try. Try to be better. Try to forgive. Try to forget. Try to be kind. Try to trust. Try to persevere.

Sprinkle some of the goodness that has been poured upon you so that someone else can experience grace however big or small.